ikea hektar lamp can predict with startling accuracy which new lovebirds are doomed

by:Merttace     2020-04-14
\"Oh, God,\" sighed Ikea, relying on the sentient tar floor lamp on the third floor of the Poko hotel.
\"One more.
\"Just then, 25-year-old Erin Beaulieu and Jake Hamill took their hands and walked into the lighting area of the store around the corner, and then held hands again because they all had another hand.
Before the sweet and gentle start to argue about track lighting, the brackets stared at each other for a while.
\"Little angel in the sky, look, I told you: the floor lamp reminds me of my greatness --
\"Grandma\'s home,\" said bellowu happily.
\"Rail lighting is much more modern.
\"Track lighting is also twice as expensive, you sweet, beautiful and perfect creature,\" Hamill responded as kissing her cheek . \".
\"You know, I\'m trying to save enough money this year to start my emotional landscaping business.
\"Oh my God, you\'re so smart, so motivated, so great.
\"It\'s just, this is our first show,\" she said.
\"What I want is me. uhhhhhhh.
\"Grindtar floor lamp smirk, I mean, in a way, we really buried lede here because it\'s incredible to have a giggle lamp if you think about itPICK-
The light said only men seriously misunderstood the \"I gave those idiots six months\" provided by Craigslist ads\"of-factly, high-
Commit suicide by bumping a wire into a pole.
\"They have different relationships with money. Always will.
This shit won\'t change.
Look at his defensive posture.
She turned to him, but he turned his energy to other places. Bad. Bad, bad, bad. Not gonna last.
\"The sentient cittar floor lamp has lived in this Ikea for two years, successfully avoiding being purchased by hiding in various corners and gaps throughout the store.
\"No, I can\'t buy it --
\"My work here is too important,\" it explains . \".
Its \"work\" includes prediction with bones
Chilling accuracy of the 400 couples walking around Ikea every week, which pair is destined to break up and whenish.
Lamp uses complex algorithms for prediction.
It explains: \"body language, the nature of the conversation, physical emotions, and so on . \".
\"Oh my God, I\'m fine.
I became very, very good.
\"It started to do things to get through the day,\" The Light explained . \".
\"Do you think the only sober person at the party is bad?
Try to be the only sentient light on the floor that looks exactly like you. I live in hell.
I need to entertain myself.
\"But soon, the lamp found that it had real talent for such predictions.
In this month alone, the lamp correctly predicted the end of the 158 relationship and correctly grasped the staying power of the other 212.
\"To be honest, sometimes it\'s a direct intuitive reaction.
Sometimes you just look at a couple and go, \"Sorry, what ? \"?
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